The process of becoming your most ideal self comes through self-exploration and experience, not through slowly creating an image of yourself for others. For most the part, I have always been pretty aware of the idea that 'things' don't give your life value. However, only recently I have come to realise just how important it is to be mindful of accumulation of possessions and why less is more. I'm not here to convince you to throw away half of your possessions, but what I hope to bring to your attention is that fact that getting rid of 'things' can be liberating and have a positive effect on your sense of self.
In January I read Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and although I don't think I got as much out of the book as it seems other people have, I did take one valuable lesson from Kondo's perspective on how to de-clutter your mind and organise your life: take the time to reflect on the relationship between you and your possessions. By sorting through your possessions and coming to terms with how much you own and how little you actually use, you begin to realise just how irrelevant 'things' are in bringing happiness to your life. Joy is a simple concept - it comes more from moments that you have associated with 'things', not necessarily the 'thing' itself. So, despite letting go of possessions, you will always have the memories and recollections of moments that sparked joy. And almost always these special moments involve people, not things.
One of my favourite books by Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie, words this concept so perfectly: "But I do know we’re deficient in some way. We are too involved in materialistic things, and they don’t satisfy us. The loving relationships we have, the universe around us, we take these things for granted.” 'Things' are so easy to replace and let go of because they don't necessarily give you perspective on who you are. However, the connection that you have with people, and the energy that is invested in building up a new relationship or sustaining a relationship is vital and influential on your development as a person. And so, too, it becomes clear that until you spend time with people to see what they do and what sparks their passions and interests, you don't really understand what lies beneath all of the external factors you associate with them. Because, ultimately, investing parts of your identity into external things instead of internal aspects such as attitudes and values can be detrimental to your self-perception and others' perception of you.
Energy and time is so incredibly valuable, and what you decide to use your energy and time on is very important. I say this because it is so easy to dispose of your time on things like your phone or computer watching irrelevant (but entertaining) YouTube videos or flicking through photos of other people's holidays. That's the thing - you're spending more time taking in other people's moments rather than creating your own. I'll admit, I love social media every now and then, but I am so much happier catching up with friends for a coffee or going for a walk rather than sitting in front of a screen for hours on end. When you detach yourself from the 'things' that are taking up a lot of time, you'll begin to realise just how much time you have to work on yourself and your relationships.
It seems that the more you give away - most prominently of yourself - the more that comes back to you. People are truly valuable. Every person you associate with is unique in their own way, unlike anyone else you will come across in your life. To be giving of yourself, your time and your energy can be confronting, but it is when you invest in bettering yourself through associating with others that you begin to realise your capabilities, what you stand for, and how you can improve yourself and the lives of others. Coming to terms with the fact that you are constantly experiencing things to shape who you are and who you can be gives purpose to your life.
And so I leave you to reconsider what you truly value in your life, and how the greatest parts of who you are are all found far beyond what can be seen with the human eye - the greatest part of you comes from your actions, your words, and your spirit. Recognise the value that you have to offer others and what others have to offer you, and thrive off knowing that, as cliché as it sounds, the best things in life really are free.
-Nicole
*Mosaik does not take credit for the images used in this article
