Traumatised Youth.

I am no expert. I cannot give you a step-by-step procedure on how to deal with traumatised youth. One thing I can tell you, though, is that the most powerful form of therapy is human love. In my involvements with traumatised youth, I have learned that positive relationships are an agent for gradual but monumental change. 

It has always been my philosophy when working with youth that any form of undesirable behaviour is a by-product of something bigger. Take a teenager who is going through regular psychological, physiological and emotional change, and then add extra stresses to the equation - behaviours are bound to be magnified. Sometimes it is better to assess the situation and take a moment to ask 'are you okay?' before jumping to conclusions and fuelling the young person's episodes. You can never fully understand what another person is going through.

From the way I see it, if you have the emotional capacity and the heart to commit to a short- or long-term journey with a traumatised young person, you do all you can to ensure that you create a 'safe place' for them. The little wins that come out of a few words of encouragement, or a simple 'well done' may seem transient, but can stay with them for a lifetime. I have worked extensively with victims of neglect and self-harm, and no matter how hard the cases seem, I try to go in with the mindset that these young people are 'growing up' at a faster rate than others their age because they believe that getting older means gaining freedom and escaping their situations. The problem with this, though, is that traumatised youth, without positive relationships, often reencounter the trauma they experienced when they were younger. The psychological scars that these young people have cut deeper than most, and can last a lifetime if they don't obtain the tools to make sense of their experiences. When someone can give them the time to understand the pain, it is only then that the healing process can begin. 

They will test you. Almost every traumatised young person I have worked with has tested my boundaries when I first met them. From being asked to help patch up self-harm scars as a way of letting me know about their adversities, to running off to see if I will follow and ultimately 'care' if they have gone, my behaviours and reactions are constantly being assessed, whether I realise it or not. These youth are too often surrounded by adult relationships that fail to help them make sense of their being and the world in which they live. If you can pass their initial 'tests' and make it known that you will be a reliable adult that will be there when they need you, their emotional wounds will, hopefully - little by little - begin to improve.

What I find most important in my work with traumatised youth is the capacity to love. Obviously keeping the relationship professional, there are a number of ways you can show these young people love - saying good morning when you pass them in the corridor, smiling at them, acknowledging their achievements no matter how small they are, or even printing out a completed piece of work that they do and keeping the hard copy on your desk. It is these little acts that teach young people what love is - it is creating a connection, making them realise their potential, and fostering a positive and lasting relationship that speaks volumes of love. Because, ultimately, love is what traumatised youth crave; it is what makes them recognise their self-worth and gives them a reason to want to better themselves. If you can provide that love, you hold a power that is greater than you ever realised.

I still have not even come close to understanding exactly how to deal with traumatised youth, but all I know for sure is that if you can assure them that they are safe in your presence, and if you can provide unconditional support and a healthy working relationship, you are half way there. You cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation, so if you can give that to someone who is unfamiliar with the concept, you are already making a difference.   

“Fire can warm or consume, water can quench or drown, wind can caress or cut. And so it is with human relationships: we can both create and destroy, nurture and terrorize, traumatise and heal each other.” - The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, Bruce D. Perry.

-Nicole