Having HSD.

I have always been highly sensitive, that is to say I feel all the feels. 

I think the first time it happened was when I was 9 and I was presented with a surprise birthday cake at someone else's party; I was so surprised and happy that they did that I became overwhelmed and I started crying a lot (like a lot, a lot) and then everyone felt bad for giving me the cake and making me cry. I didn't understand why I was crying so I couldn't explain it to them either and they didn't know what to do so they just took the cake away.

As I’ve gotten older it gotten worse, and as Kristen Bell once said "if I'm not between a seven and a three on the emotional scale I'm crying." So I've had to come to terms with the fact that crying just means I am extremely full of emotion and not that I am sad, I am either just too happy, or too excited, or too overwhelmed, or I'm laughing way too much (I have also fainted from laughing too much... maybe I should look into that). 

People who know me well have now come to terms with the fact that I can't control my tear ducts and they have accepted it as one of my many quirks. I used to think I was the only one - apart from Kirsten Bell that is - but then just the other day hellogiggles.com published a blog post titled 22 Signs you're a highly sensitive person (and that’s OK!)  I realised I was one of the 1 in 5 people who "suffer" from being highly sensitive.  In the article it says that "This trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy, being observant before acting" (so really it’s all just my way of preparing for the Hunger Games or something).

However, ever since reading the article I have used the symptoms as an excuse to seem less melodramatic, you see I have always overreacted to things. I tend to exaggerate my emotions and I now just coin it as a symptom of being highly sensitive. For example there have been a couple of times that I have gotten the flu at the same time as someone else in my family (namely my brother) but I will always insist that my flu is worse or more severe and of course I just get eyes rolled at me because how am I even supposed to know that? According to the article though, I do have a lower pain tolerance, so maybe my flu is worse or it just feels a lot worse and I am suffering more. 

The article also suggests I scare easily which gives me an excuse for all the times I have been randomly scared by people, and I have literally screamed and thrown myself on the ground.

Another of the signs that I'm a highly sensitive person according to the article is that I struggle to take care of my body, which is now going to be my excuse for when I eat a whole block of Cadbury chocolate, or an entire jar of Nutella, because really I can't help it. But it actually does explain why I don't care about taking food breaks at uni... like at one point I worked 15 hours straight weaving only taking water breaks (this was all my own fault) and I then had to go to the doctor to get checked and they told me I had to start doing eye exercises and my strict diet of chocolate, things covered in chocolate and chocolate milk probably means I'm low in iron and missing out on a lot of nutrients. 

The 22nd item on the list hellogiggles.com published is that I like things before they are "cool" this not only explains my love for jazz music but also my love for nerdy/dorky guys who only seem to get cooler after I stop seeing them. 

So all in all I feel like I know myself a lot better now that I have been self-diagnosed as "highly sensitive."  

-A  

*Mosaik does not take credit for any of the images used in this article