A Work in Progress.

I have no idea where I am going to be in five, ten, or even twenty years’ time. I used to be so scared of not knowing exactly where I wanted my life to end up, and my thoughts were often overridden by my questioning of the future and what kind of career, relationships and challenges I have waiting for me. I still ponder these thoughts, but my views on my future have since changed considerably.  I have become a lot more comfortable with the idea of anticipating the journey and not knowing what to expect. Because when I look back at what I thought my life would be like at the age of twenty-one, it is completely different to where my life is currently heading. And I am okay with that.

I was reading some poetry the other day and came across a wonderful poet, Cleo Wade, who reflected:

“This may look like a crash and burn

But it is just gravity in its beauty

Asking us to touch down

Asking us to feel the earth we come from

Before we reach for the stars again”.

Her words are so beautifully crafted, and she articulates the concept of simplicity and resilience so powerfully. I was reflecting on this poem for quite some time, when I started to think about ways that life is, metaphorically, much like art. Here’s a little glance into the mind of a passionately reflective twenty-one-year-old (*raises hand*) who has no idea which direction her life is heading:

• You begin as a blank canvas: For our whole life - even more so once we reach adulthood - we are given the freedom to guide ourselves whichever direction seems right at the time. We have no expectations, no ground to run off, so we move forward with no clear vision in mind, but enough motivation to move forward and steer a new beginning. 

• You develop and alter things along the way: We have no idea what kind of opportunities,  'failures', roadblocks or changes will arise during our journey. Whether they be good, bad or otherwise, they’re guiding our self-exploration and constantly moving us towards finding our purpose. If one path doesn't work out for you, you still have a lot of time to figure out what you want to do with your life. It is not a race to find your purpose - you do this gradually, learning along the way.

• You have no idea where you are heading: Your ideas of what comprises a meaningful life will probably change over time. It’s impossible to predict where you will end up. With hard work comes opportunities and, alternatively, with a change of direction also comes opportunities. Trust in your instincts and make choices for your current self’s wellbeing and fulfilment. It is completely okay to do things that make you happy in this current moment. Do not feel like you need to think too far ahead; it is often when you least expect it that your life will take an unintentional turn for the best. You work towards opportunities, they don't just present themselves to you, so do something everyday that makes you feel valuable and valued, and the rest will work itself out.

• You must learn to love your ‘failures’: Everyone is going to feel that they have ‘failed’ at things throughout their life. What people often don't realise is that with failures come the most valuable lessons; they show strength, determination and courage. My all-time favourite author, Randy Pausch, says in The Last Lecture: “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” Thrive off and work with your failures; they are blessings in disguise. And if you feel passionately about something, no matter how many times you 'fail', never give up on it. 

• You are valuable far beyond measure: At this current moment, you may not see value in what you are doing. We often measure our value based on accolades and praise, which is not accurate. We are far more impactful than we realise, and our effect on the world and its people is infinite. Have faith that you are making the right choices for yourself, and do something every day that adds purpose to your existence. You will see the true value of you in many years to come.

Remember this: you are a work in progress.  Once you learn to accept and acknowledge this about yourself, you are on a more harmonious path to reach that final masterpiece. Colour your life with wonderful experiences, memories and relationships, and you will leave behind a valuable legacy, one that will inspire and guide others. 

-Nicole

Where to Bendi-GO!

I recently went on a short weekend trip to Bendigo. When I planned this, I didn't know what was there, hadn't looked into it too much, I just wanted to have a weekend away. After visiting Bendigo for a few days, I fell in love!

Here is a small guide of what to do, and what to see if you also find yourself spending the weekend down in Bendigo:

1. Go to the Bendigo Art Gallery.

2. The Marilyn Monroe exhibition starts this month at the Benidigo Art Gallery, so once visiting that, pop around the corner to see the Marilyn Monroe sculpture!

3. If you're into super foods and healthy eating, grab breakfast or lunch at Blue Jam Cafè!

4. If you need to grab dinner, visit Mr Beebe's! (we went there for dinner two out of three nights that we were there because we loved it so much! Here's the menu: http://mrbeebes.com.au/asset/MB_Menu_Web_Apr.pdf)

5. Wander around the small town centre and visit the independent stores such as the Bendigo Hat Store!

6. Keep an eye out for the night markets on the weekends!

7. Stay at the Schaller Studio! Just a ten minute walk from the town centre, designed by Australian artist Mark Schaller.

8. If you wanna explore surrounding areas and don't mind driving an hour, pop by Daylesford and visit the main town centre, or even the Chocolate Mill or Hepburn Springs Salt Baths and Spa!

9. Have a relax! It's such a lovely and quiet little town that you will adore and it's perfect for a short little getaway! :)

- Christine

VAMFF 2016.

Launching tomorrow, the 20^th year of  the Virgin Australia Melbourne Fashion Festival will run for a week long hosting Australia’s top designers, both up and coming and the cherished favourites. For the first time, the festival hub is now at the Royal Exhibition Building and the Melbourne Museum, where you can catch all the action on the runways as well as unwind and relax at the Festival Plaza. Here are some handy tips to navigate and make the most of the biggest week in Melbourne Fashion.

Experience:  The Runway Shows. Whether it is one of the seven Premium Runways Shows, the National Graduate Showcase, the Jean Paul for Target Runway or the GQ Australian Menswear Runway, there is a runway to suit all your fashion needs and desires. But be quick, many of the runways have sold out, but luckily VAMFF has released a limited number of additional seats for the sold out shows.

Watch: If runways aren’t your thing, head to ACMI for the Fashion on Film Series. Here you can watch the latest fashion documentaries, hot off the runway from across the globe about Jeremy Scott, Givenchy and the late Alexander McQueen, just to name a few.

Eat: Now that the hub for VAMFF has changed, you could not be more spoilt for choice when it comes to dining before or after the show. Think Gertrude St for Trippy Tacos, Smith Street and Brunswick Street for their array of wonderful bars and eateries and how could you forget Lygon Street for the ultimate after show coffee and gelati.

Wear:  Now this probably is the time to don your most stylish outfit, as many people pull out all stops to look their best around Fashion Week. Don’t worry too much the ‘latest’ fashion trends because this is your opportunity to let loose and show Melbourne your creative flair.

Transport: The Premium Runways could not be more easier to get to get to this year. Simply hop on the train to Parliament and enjoy a leisurely stroll through Carlton Gardens. However, if the heat  will prove too much, you can hop on the 96 or 86 trams to allow you to roll up in style.

Head over to the VAMFF website or their Instagram and Twitter for all the deets and up to the minute goss. And most importantly, if you look good, you feel great, so have fun with the festival and be sure to always be camera ready.

- Sarah 

*Mosaik does not take credit for any of the image used in this article

Single.

I used to think nobody wanted to be single, that everyone wanted to be loved. It's not true.

Actively Single is a way of life. He lives alone. It's a one bedroom apartment. There isn't even much room for a second person in that place. Everything is just tuned, arranged, carved out for one. I was in a space completely of his making, in his cave.

"I don't want to feel like I have to see anyone. I just want to do my own thing." Please leave me alone. I'm single, you see. You can come to visit, sometimes, but I don't think there's room for you to stay.

To slip into drag parlance for a minute, he was giving me relationship realness without the commitment. He wanted the “boyfriend experience” without actually having to be a boyfriend, or even treat me with common decency and emotional respect.

When I said I liked him, he didn't know what to say. He changed the topic. He didn't understand why I was upset. But, it was my fault, of course. He’s single. He doesn't want anything serious. Arm's length is a bit too close, actually. He’s just having fun. Please take a step back.

He told me how much he loathed the corporate culture. He had very little in common with his coworkers. Office work really wasn't "him".

Then there’s Ambiguous Single. I don't even really know if any of our meetings constituted dates. He kissed me once, when he was drunk. He apologised for it later and I regretted getting excited. I unfollowed him on Facebook after I got tired of seeing his banal, formulaic posts get an obligatory 50-something likes in a matter of minutes. I got sick of his jokes.

I check in on his profile one day. A photo of him in bed with a guy - it's a (straight) friend. They're pulling faces, it's funny. Other photos of him with the coworkers he had nothing in common with. More jokes. Memes. Jokes. Memes.

I sent him a very passive-aggressive message after he continued to ignore my messages. New to Melbourne and not knowing anyone, I thought he might end up as a friend, as that’s probably what he needed more than a dating partner. However, he didn’t seem interested in being a friend, either. I probably wasn’t ironic enough. I realise he is water, he is air, he is nothing. There's no person behind the jokes. It's not a coping mechanism or a cover, it's actually all there is. Depthless. He slips between my fingers and I wonder if I ever really touched him. Does he exist? If I go up to his apartment, will there be any traces of life, or just dust and footprints?

Since I broke up with my ex last year, there has not been a significant time where I haven’t been looking for romance, looking for someone. I’m not miserable being single – it’s just that I’d prefer to be with someone.

"I work and I just wanna be by myself." I presume he's still single. I think he mentioned not having been in a relationship before. I can't imagine him sexually, romantically. Everything would be self-aware, ironic, a meme. He'd probably make "banter" while giving head. Single is who he is. I’ve been accused of being a serial dater. It’s hard to know if what you’re doing is healthy or good for you. I don’t know 100% how to analyse my behaviour. I do take breaks from dating / apps sometimes, when I get tired of "the game”, but it’s usually not long before I’m back in, rolling the dice. I want to succeed, I want to win. I want to get out of the cycle.

What I take issue with is being made to feel desperate, sleazy, manipulative, cloying, clingy. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be single, and there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be single.

I think it’s a defining aspect of who I am, that I have love to give. I have a surplus. I’m not incomplete, I just want to find someone to give this to. I can’t really judge those who choose to be single as a lifestyle. As frustrating as it may be when I get entangled with them, and as harshly as I may write about them, they’re entitled to live their lives the way they want to. What I take issue with is deception. When you think you have a chance with someone (and they let you believe that) and they pull out the ultimate trump card: I don’t want anything serious, I just want to be single. After all that time, you were barking up the wrong tree, knocking on the door of an empty house.

I will not be judged for wanting to love and be loved.

-Andrew

Andrew wrote this piece as a guest contributor for Mosaik.

He is the author to the tumblr blog tragicomic misadventures in dating// melbourne gay seeks distraction, validation and love. While also writing zines of the same theme.

Andrew was also recently featured in one of our recent People Profiles.

*Mosaik does not take credit for the image used in this article

The Minimalist Life.

The process of becoming your most ideal self comes through self-exploration and experience, not through slowly creating an image of yourself for others. For most the part, I have always been pretty aware of the idea that 'things' don't give your life value. However, only recently I have come to realise just how important it is to be mindful of accumulation of possessions and why less is more. I'm not here to convince you to throw away half of your possessions, but what I hope to bring to your attention is that fact that getting rid of 'things' can be liberating and have a positive effect on your sense of self.

In January I read Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and although I don't think I got as much out of the book as it seems other people have, I did take one valuable lesson from Kondo's perspective on how to de-clutter your mind and organise your life: take the time to reflect on the relationship between you and your possessions. By sorting through your possessions and coming to terms with how much you own and how little you actually use, you begin to realise just how irrelevant 'things' are in bringing happiness to your life. Joy is a simple concept - it comes more from moments that you have associated with 'things', not necessarily the 'thing' itself. So, despite letting go of possessions, you will always have the memories and recollections of moments that sparked joy. And almost always these special moments involve people, not things. 

One of my favourite books by Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie, words this concept so perfectly: "But I do know we’re deficient in some way. We are too involved in materialistic things, and they don’t satisfy us. The loving relationships we have, the universe around us, we take these things for granted.” 'Things' are so easy to replace and let go of because they don't necessarily give you perspective on who you are. However, the connection that you have with people, and the energy that is invested in building up a new relationship or sustaining a relationship is vital and influential on your development as a person. And so, too, it becomes clear that until you spend time with people to see what they do and what sparks their passions and interests, you don't really understand what lies beneath all of the external factors you associate with them. Because, ultimately, investing parts of your identity   into external things instead of internal aspects such as attitudes and values can be detrimental to your self-perception and others' perception of you.

Energy and time is so incredibly valuable, and what you decide to use your energy and time on is very important. I say this because it is so easy to dispose of your time on things like your phone or computer watching irrelevant (but entertaining) YouTube videos or flicking through photos of other people's holidays. That's the thing - you're spending more time taking in other people's moments rather than creating your own. I'll admit, I love social media every now and then, but I am so much happier catching up with friends for a coffee or going for a walk rather than sitting in front of a screen for hours on end. When you detach yourself from the 'things' that are taking up a lot of time, you'll begin to realise just how much time you have to work on yourself and your relationships. 

It seems that the more you give away - most prominently of yourself - the more that comes back to you. People are truly valuable. Every person you associate with is unique in their own way, unlike anyone else you will come across in your life. To be giving of yourself, your time and your energy can be confronting, but it is when you invest in bettering yourself through associating with others that you begin to realise your capabilities, what you stand for, and how you can improve yourself and the lives of others. Coming to terms with the fact that you are constantly experiencing things to shape who you are and who you can be gives purpose to your life. 

And so I leave you to reconsider what you truly value in your life, and how the greatest parts of who you are are all found far beyond what can be seen with the human eye - the greatest part of you comes from your actions, your words, and your spirit. Recognise the value that you have to offer others and what others have to offer you, and thrive off knowing that, as cliché as it sounds, the best things in life really are free. 

-Nicole

*Mosaik does not take credit for the images used in this article